Letting out a loud groan as soon as Darlene called him a pet, John pinched the bridge of his nose and waited irritably for a pause in the conversation where he could clarify.

"You don't need to keep making this weirder, Darlene," he informed her archly. "Not a pet, either, considering I could never be domesticated. I'm a pet walker now, probably a shit cleaner upper if I don't get her out enough, but pet is way off."

Then he turned his attention to Elliot, not quite so baleful but a bit inconvenienced. "Yeah, I got that much now. The heads up is a bit late, but great introduction."