he knows by the way. that i'm a mutant and what happened with my parents. he actually tracked them down for me, they've got a new life in australia, where my dad's family moved here from. i'm really happy for them :) :) :)
and i know how everything i said sounded but it's not just about what he does for me either
[Good god, this is uncomfortable. He's shaking on his end of the conversation, thumbs slipping all over the screen of his phone. At least she didn't come and chase him out of the apartment for good like he half-expected, but all this sharing is making him queasy.
It's worth it. Just really, really uncomfortable.]
didn't i tell you ages ago that i just wanna wrap a goddamn blanket around him all the time? of course i'll take care of him
i don't. we've all got things we wanna hide, for whatever reasons; keeping others safe, or because we're ashamed of them, or just because we don't care to have anyone know anything about us. the kinds of people who are an open book from the start unsettle me.
good. i'd rather you were keeping the whole thing from me, than keeping the entire thing from him. he's always been really oddly selfless like that, wanting to help people just because... like he's some corny fucking superhero, or something. i don't get it, him and i are just different like that, he's better than i am. he's got a good heart.
just don't follow that statement up with 'it's what he does to me.' i REALLY don't need that kind of imagery while i'm trying to enjoy chipotle.
do you HAVE to make this harder when it's already the hardest thing i've ever done? i get the urge and all, we both know i have it too, but come on. cut me one break here
and i'm not ashamed for the record. they're the assholes here. i'm protecting myself when i don't tell people, cause the other way i can protect myself if they turn on me would kill them, and i don't actually wanna do that
maybe you haven't noticed yet, but i take a lot of pleasure in making things harder for you. call it my hobby, if you want.
i know, it doesn't really seem like your style to be ashamed of something like that. people are dicks, they can go fuck themselves. self preservation, that's what motivates a lot of us. what's that old phrase? what they don't know can't hurt em?
i stopped trying to understand him a long time ago. it's easier to think 'that's just elliot' than to try and figure it out.
something happened awhile back and i did a really shitty job of helping him out cause i just didn't expect it. i didn't even know what was going on at first
like i didn't make it worse, i think, i hope, but i didn't make it any better. and he mostly just told me not to get involved when he came down but how the fuck do i just leave him like that?
when he starts seeing the people that aren't there
She'd stupidly thought that maybe Elliot had stopped seeing him. Mr. Robot, as he calls him. But she'd witnessed him coming to the surface more than enough times, coaxed him out when she thought she needed him instead of Elliot -- her brother claiming that he was the real mastermind in the plan they had created.
Her hands are shaking. How does she explain something she hardly understands? ]
there's only one person. he's.... it's a long story. sometimes there's just another person elliot becomes. sometimes he's aware of it and sometimes this other person completely takes over. he's the exact opposite of elliot, and still exactly the same as elliot. they do amazing things when they're working together. they're both fucking genius. but lately he fights with him a lot, he doesn't want him there anymore or... i don't know, really.
there's nothing really you can do, elliot has to figure it out on his own. everybody has demons and shit inside of them, he's just more aware of his. just be there for him when he comes back to himself.
Edited (i will stop forgetting words, i swear.) 2016-09-17 05:20 (UTC)
yeah. well, it is probably best if you don't. there's a lot of shit going on there that you don't wanna get caught up in...
yeah, i know what he sounds like i know what he looks like, it's not really a pretty thing to watch. but if you try talking to him, you're not really gonna be talking to him, you know? it's not gonna sink in and get to elliot and even if it does... he's really persuasive
elliot used to trust him a lot, i don't know if he does anymore. it's been a while since i've seen him.
for god's sake, i'm being serious i just dunno what else to say. it's not about me. i just wanted to understand better and he obviously didn't want to tell me any more
well, it's 50/50 with you, how the hell am i supposed to know?!
i probably shouldn't have told you much more either, but... if you and him are going to be a thing, then you deserve a little more than just elliot's shitty explanation of it, or him doing that thing where he tells you not to worry about something that you're obviously already worrying about.
no, i understand. it's kinda.. weird to see it happening. scary, even. and sometimes.. i don't know, i wonder if he's completely switched over and i didn't even notice it...
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no subject
he knows by the way. that i'm a mutant and what happened with my parents. he actually tracked them down for me, they've got a new life in australia, where my dad's family moved here from. i'm really happy for them :) :) :)
and i know how everything i said sounded but it's not just about what he does for me either
[Good god, this is uncomfortable. He's shaking on his end of the conversation, thumbs slipping all over the screen of his phone. At least she didn't come and chase him out of the apartment for good like he half-expected, but all this sharing is making him queasy.
It's worth it. Just really, really uncomfortable.]
didn't i tell you ages ago that i just wanna wrap a goddamn blanket around him all the time? of course i'll take care of him
no subject
the kinds of people who are an open book from the start unsettle me.
good. i'd rather you were keeping the whole thing from me, than keeping the entire thing from him. he's always been really oddly selfless like that, wanting to help people just because... like he's some corny fucking superhero, or something. i don't get it, him and i are just different like that, he's better than i am. he's got a good heart.
just don't follow that statement up with 'it's what he does to me.' i REALLY don't need that kind of imagery while i'm trying to enjoy chipotle.
no subject
and i'm not ashamed for the record. they're the assholes here. i'm protecting myself when i don't tell people, cause the other way i can protect myself if they turn on me would kill them, and i don't actually wanna do that
i don't get it either
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i know, it doesn't really seem like your style to be ashamed of something like that. people are dicks, they can go fuck themselves.
self preservation, that's what motivates a lot of us. what's that old phrase? what they don't know can't hurt em?
i stopped trying to understand him a long time ago. it's easier to think 'that's just elliot' than to try and figure it out.
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but i don't notice you giving a single shit that a mutant's dating your brother, so you're not bad either
darlene can i ask you something? about understanding him. it's
serious
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yeah, go ahead. what is it?
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like i didn't make it worse, i think, i hope, but i didn't make it any better. and he mostly just told me not to get involved when he came down but how the fuck do i just leave him like that?
when he starts seeing the people that aren't there
no subject
She'd stupidly thought that maybe Elliot had stopped seeing him. Mr. Robot, as he calls him. But she'd witnessed him coming to the surface more than enough times, coaxed him out when she thought she needed him instead of Elliot -- her brother claiming that he was the real mastermind in the plan they had created.
Her hands are shaking. How does she explain something she hardly understands? ]
there's only one person. he's.... it's a long story.
sometimes there's just another person elliot becomes. sometimes he's aware of it and sometimes this other person completely takes over.
he's the exact opposite of elliot, and still exactly the same as elliot. they do amazing things when they're working together. they're both fucking genius.
but lately he fights with him a lot, he doesn't want him there anymore or... i don't know, really.
there's nothing really you can do, elliot has to figure it out on his own. everybody has demons and shit inside of them, he's just more aware of his. just be there for him when he comes back to himself.
no subject
takes over
no i knew that, i knew that, he said not to talk to him cause it was too dangerous. i just didn't put it together
yeah, the fighting's what i saw. and i'm not judging him or anything, like hell i ever could with what goes on in my head.
but - you really have to just wait it out? he sounds so
[Tormented. It's fucking heart-wrenching.]
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yeah. well, it is probably best if you don't. there's a lot of shit going on there that you don't wanna get caught up in...
yeah, i know what he sounds like i know what he looks like, it's not really a pretty thing to watch.
but if you try talking to him, you're not really gonna be talking to him, you know? it's not gonna sink in and get to elliot and even if it does... he's really persuasive
elliot used to trust him a lot, i don't know if he does anymore. it's been a while since i've seen him.
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yeah alright, i'll stay out of it
just be there when it's done
thanks for telling me so much
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i can't tell if you're being serious
or if you're being a prick.
just saying.
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i just dunno what else to say. it's not about me. i just wanted to understand better and he obviously didn't want to tell me any more
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i probably shouldn't have told you much more either, but... if you and him are going to be a thing, then you deserve a little more than just elliot's shitty explanation of it, or him doing that thing where he tells you not to worry about something that you're obviously already worrying about.
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and don't worry, i'm not gonna come behind your back all the time and try to drag info out of you. this was just a big one
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no, i understand. it's kinda.. weird to see it happening. scary, even.
and sometimes.. i don't know, i wonder if he's completely switched over and i didn't even notice it...
i try not to think about it too much.